I’ve been a Christian for many years. And, I’ve had many experiences and been a part of many churches in that time. This journey started when I was a curious 13-year old. All my Catholic friends on my soccer team were going through something they called “confirmation”. Our family didn’t go to a Catholic church or any church for that matter. So I went home and asked my mom, “What’s church all about? Can we go see?” She told me stories of early mornings with her father at 7am mass at Christ Episcopal in Greenville, SC. She pulled out The Yellow Pages (for Millenials, that’s what we called the internet before you were born) and found a similar church near our home (ironically by the same name) and attended faithfully. A journey home began then and continues today.
Since then I’ve been involved in countless ministries, been to seminary, served as a pastor, been overseas, and spent the last 8 years as at an evangelical church that we know and love. My faith continues to grow. In this last decade, without any formal vocation in the church, I have enjoyed being on the other side as a layman worshiping, giving, and serving with my family.
Over the years, the more knowledge and experience I gain, ironically, the more I realize what I have to learn about God and His church. Lately, my pure and genuine curiosity has peaked like I’m 13 all over again with questions and intrigue. I stand in awe of who God is and what He has done through His people for generations upon generations.
God has fed my curiosity (which He put there in the first place) and has been showing me some new things and drawing me closer to Him through His church. It’s like I’m starting all over again and asking Him, “What is Your story, God? What is Your church, God?” His answers are not as clear cut as when my mom pulled out the Yellow Pages. But I’m understanding more and more about His mysteries. I’ve met many faithful people along the way whom God has used to point me to His great purposes.
I’ve come to a place where I am being drawn into the ‘global’ body of Christ and not just a local church I attend. I’ve come to better recognize many of my brothers and sisters in the faith, including my Catholic ones. I asked about the basic beliefs of the Catholic Church and was given a copy of the “Catechism of the Catholic Church” by a dear friend. I read it cover-to-cover and with an energy that came from deep in my heart. It’s hard to summarize all that’s there, but would love to talk to anyone else who has read it or is reading it. Amazing and beautiful. For those interested, I wrote a summary of my initial findings called “Bridging The Divide.”
This is going to sound crude, but so far, engaging with the Catholic Church is like going home for Christmas. I have a huge extended family from Texas. Some I am close to. Some I am not. Some I understand. Some don’t understand me. But, they are all ‘family’. I cannot change that, nor do I want to. And I embrace that more than ever in my life. As I embrace the “one, holy, catholic, and apostolic” family (ref. The Nicene Creed that most Protestants and Catholics profess), I am embracing my heritage: generations of brothers and sisters who have kept the faith for almost 2,000 years.
Depending on your background you might be responding to my story with joy, confusion, or even disagreement. I understand and have experienced all those emotions myself. But, I am not doing this to make anyone happy or sad, to like me or dislike me. I truly believe that I am following Christ as I have for almost 3 decades. Like many other decisions “I” have made, I sense God has actually been working in my heart for many years to lead me where He wants me to go. This is not about me. This is about God’s glory and His mission of redemption on the earth. I have received an invitation. And I have accepted that invitation. I am being embraced by the church universal and I, in turn, embrace my church family.
My decision to learn more and engage in fellowship with the Catholic Church is not a decision to criticize or reject Protestant people or certain churches. I embrace my Catholic brothers and sisters. And I embrace my Protestant ones as well. My family worships at our local Protestant church (St. Laurence Anglican). I have not imposed on them any of my own choices. I’ve got a big family and each person is on their own journey as well. As for me, I am eager to continue exploring the mysteries of Christ and feel that I have only scratched the surface of almost 2,000 years of the church’s history. I am expanding the boundaries of my faith, not drawing a line in the sand. And I am not shy to invite others as I have been invited. “Blessed are those who are called to the supper of the Lamb” are some of my favorite words during mass. Even the word Mass has it’s meaning from the Latin phrase “Ite, missa est” which means we are sent into the world to share the good news. This is the good news I want to share.
My pursuit is not to stir controversy, make a point, or feel better about myself. It is an act of love. I am not a consumer trying to find what is best for me. I am not a theologian trying to prove what’s right. I am just a man who loves God and wants to love my neighbor as myself. I embrace my brothers and sisters in Christ and ask them to embrace me in love.
I am writing this note to share with my friends and family. Some of my brothers and sisters in Christ know more about my latest journey. Some know less or nothing at all. I have not kept it a secret nor did I shout it from the rooftops. I want to ensure my motives are pure and my desire is to please God, not man. My focus, as it has been for so long, is to follow Christ where He leads. And this is one of the longest journeys He’s taken me on.
In this long journey, I have been impacted by friends and siblings who are Protestants and members of the Catholic Church. The list is too long to name here. And that’s a truth I have underappreciated. There is a “communion of saints” that spans beyond my life experience…even for millennia. I am realizing more and more about my small place in this grand extended family.
I titled this journal My Journey Home. It has multiple meanings. At first, it was just a conversation between me and my mom. We found our first church home at Christ Episcopal in Plano, TX. Then I floated around in multiple evangelical ministries in college. Next, I worked as a pastor and served as a missionary. Now I enjoy my most productive ‘ministry’ years yet in the marketplace and as a simple layman. It’s been a journey for decades as God is leading me to embrace His glory, His plan, and His Catholic church as a family. But ultimately, it is also about our long journey to our heavenly home. I sense this is a big milestone that long journey. And I pray alongside my church family, “may Your Kingdom come”. Until then, thank you for reading and walking alongside me!
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Bridging The Divide
(What do you make of the division between Protestants and Catholics?)
The divides between Protestants and Catholics have always intrigued and discouraged me since I came to faith in my late teens. I have read the pleas of Jesus Himself for unity in the church (John 17) many times and longed for unity in the body of Christ myself. But a simple, naive wish was never enough to bridge the gap. I needed to honor the depth of the situation and do my own investigation. So I have renewed my pursuit, studied the history, the issues, and the theology. I am merging all of this with my own seminary training, years in ministry and on mission, and so many conversations along the way with extraordinary people…just a few data points to process…and I’m just scratching the surface. 🙂
I have been crossing many gaps and distances and have not taking this journey lightly. I value being honest with God and myself. Here are the gaps I am overcoming and what helps me overcome them.
Misinformation overcome by Investigation
Someone once told me, “There are a few people who disagree with the Catholic Church and so many more who disagree with what they ‘think’ the Catholic church is”. So I simply started by asking, “What does the Catholic church really believe?” My answer was to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church (thank you Daniel for my personal copy…one of my favorite gifts from a friend). I read it cover-to-cover and made notes on almost every page. Instead of a radical set of new ideas, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Catholic Catechism (aka official doctrine, teaching, etc.) is simply a deep dive into: the Apostle’s Creed, the Sacraments (ex baptism, communion, marriage, etc.), the Ten Commandments, and the Lord’s Prayer. I grew up Episcopalian and have been deeply influenced by my mother’s faith. So these were familiar constructs.
In short: I resonate with so many things in it. In fact, I’d say it has many insights and parts that carry a more conservative position on the sovereignty of God, the deity of Christ and the role of the Holy Spirit than I have seen myself in many evangelical settings.
For other parts, I have a mixture of curiosity, confusion, and even initial disagreement. But I am not approaching this as a skeptic. I approach it as a curious learner. It’s hard to disagree with what I don’t fully understand yet.
I welcome any of my brothers and sisters to read this with me. One of my Catholic friends told me that only 1% of Catholics have even read it so there’s a lot for us all to explore. I have learned a ton and it has helped me just get clear on what is and what is not the Catholic faith. It’s easy to be skeptical about the Catholic church I suppose. But, how many skeptics have read the Catechism, attended mass recently, or had an open conversation with a Catholic brother or sister?
Misunderstanding overcome by Insight
Now, we all know that any information can be interpreted many ways. So, I have asked the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom and discernment and insight as I read. Just to get started, the Catechism is not a ‘list’ of beliefs. That’s how an evangelical processes. “Show me the articles of the doctrinal statement” we might say. Right out of the gate I came to understand that the initial doctrinal statement is in fact the Apostles Creed: 113 words (in English) broken into 12 articles, recited all around the world by Catholics and Protestants alike for almost 2,000 years! All Catholics and many Protestants would gladly affirm it (but not all really appreciate it or understand it). And yet, since the Protestant Reformation we have all experienced a bloody battle over the various aspects of other doctrines. I spent many years in graduate school watching the battles even between Protestant denominations over issues I never realized were such a big deal (ex. specifics of the end times). The battle wasn’t towards the Catholic Church. Ironically we spent time battling other close cousins in the Protestant world.
At the onset, The Catechism is actually, in my layman’s understanding, an official teaching on the Apostles Creed. Again, only 113 words in the Apostle’s Creed. And yet the first 301 pages of the Catechism are spent expounding, explaining and unpacking a statement many Catholics and Evangelicals gladly recite on Sundays.
One thing is for sure, Catholic leaders are intellectually honest. I might not understand everything. But I can say for sure they have thought through the issues a lot more than me. The Catechism has countless references to Scripture, church fathers, and other writings of respected theologians (ex. St. Augustine). For example, does the Catholic Church worship Mary? I have certainly subscribed to this viewpoint as I read paraphernalia produced by my Protestant friends. But now, after reading the Catechism, I have a newfound appreciation and understanding for Mary. I have a much larger vision and appreciation for what God did through a faithful young girl who is indeed called by Elizabeth the “mother of my Lord”. As a Protestant, I like to “explain” fully. But, we are talking about a virgin birth right? So, I have embraced the reality that God can be known, but not always ‘explained.’ That leads to the next gap I needed to cross.
Mystery overcome by Faith
I told my dear friend, Father John Bartunek, “I want to resolve a few mysteries so I can start exploring the endless mysteries”. What I meant is that I’m not trying to solve a puzzle or fix a problem. I’m not trying to figure out which side is right or wrong. I do want to figure out how to crack the doors of fellowship in the church so I can explore for a lifetime (or eternity). And from what I’ve initially found, the treasure there will take me many lifetimes to sift through. I’m in no hurry.
I could feel his heart as he encouraged and responded to me. Father John is a deeply faithful person. And, he is also one of the most intellectually honest people I’ve ever met. When I read his testimony I was blown away. He has a very similar story to my own having grown up in an evangelical church as a teenager. By the way, if you have ever seen the movie ‘The Passion’ and agree with its depiction of Jesus Christ, you are in good company with Father John. He was a part of the production team and wrote a book about the experience. His book “Inside the Passion: An Insider’s Look at the Passion of the Christ” provides “insights gleaned from hours spent on the set and interviews with the director, actors, and filmmaking crew.” Embracing and exploring mystery is not abandoning thinking or logic. As Father John has taught me, it’s embracing the mysteries of our faith in a God who has revealed Himself to us.
As I went back and forth with him, my goal was not to resolve discrepancies so I can enter a club or prove something. Entering into fellowship with my Catholic brothers and sisters feels like finding a massive storehouse of hidden, historical family heirlooms. As an evangelical, I tend to live in a window of history not even a century wide. I have tended to read ‘current’ and ‘relevant’ books by ‘contemporary’ authors. Sometimes it’s like we assume we are in the first generation of Christians to really ‘get it’. Reading the Catechism, I was plunged into at least 6,000 years of Scripture, 2,000 years of church history, and writings of faithful saints who lived centuries ago. And those men and women seem to have more faith and understanding of God’s mysteries in their pinky than I have in my whole body.
I’ve desired to end the mystery of how I can enter the full fellowship of saints so I can explore a lifetime of mystery to follow. The Holy Trinity, the incarnation, the resurrection…these are mysteries. I cannot explain them. But I do believe in these truths and can understand them with the help of the Holy Spirit. I believe that my Catholic brothers and sisters have much stronger appreciation and understanding for these mysteries than I do. In seminary, I parsed lots of Greek verbs. But I rarely paused to wonder in the mysteries of the living Word of God. I rarely calmed my soul or stood in awe of our great and mighty God.
Pride overcome by Humility
I have had many Protestant brothers help me along the way as well. My friend Brian Gronewoller, who is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge and wisdom answered a very simple question for me. I asked him provocatively, “Why are we not all Catholic?” I thought he was going to say something about Mary or works-based salvation or purgatory. Instead, he gave a simple and surprising answer: “Papal authority”. For people (like me) that need things translated, that simply means submitting to the authority of the church and it’s leaders, namely the Pope.
As I considered this barrier I did not focus on the succession of Peter or the perceived conflicts between Papal authority and divine inspiration of Scripture. I focused on my own need for humility. I must confess, as a Protestant, I lack humility. Because humility is a lack of focus on self. In my opinion, evangelicals are indirectly taught to focus on self: Our ‘personal’ relationship with Christ. Our ‘personal’ experience of worship. Our ‘individual’ callings. The intent of these messages is not, by nature, prideful or to invoke selfishness, but intimacy with Christ. But I have seen how these tenets, taken out of context, have emboldened evangelicals to live in isolation and accountable to only themselves. I think it has also sparked a consumerist mindset as we ‘shop’ churches and complain about boring sermons, music, and media. The Center for Global Christianity at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (which is evangelical Protestant) estimates that there are currently 47,000 denominations… and more being started every year!
It is a bit of a convenient situation for me as a Protestant and evangelical really. If I don’t like something, I can just go to another church or simply ignore my Pastor. No one will notice or care with any consequence. Sometimes this is even celebrated as people float from church to church or start new ones. Perhaps we once were reformers. But now it seems we are also consumers. And the frog has boiled in that water over many centuries.
In current times, even the idea of church membership requires so much explanation. What are we belonging to? Who are we submitting to? What are we committing to? It’s unclear at times. And the problem is only getting worse it seems. I have to confess, I have not really understood (or demonstrated) what it means to ‘submit’ in humility to authority. And if I’m not submitting, I’m essentially saying that I’m accountable to: myself and no one else.
Authority is only as good as people submit to it. So, while I don’t know the Pope personally or those who have preceded him, I do know that I am not God or the leader of His church. Submission does not presume full knowledge or agreement. Otherwise it would be called something else. Today I am inclined to demonstrate submission. It is a confession of my need for humility more than anything else. One thing I am sure of is this: God is God. I am not.
The final divide
Even after this submission there is one final barrier I see. There is: everything else. There is everything else I don’t know. There is everything else I don’t understand. My exploration has generated more questions than answers. I am not a perfect person. This is not a perfect journey. But I recognize that our enemy rejoices in the division of the church. So for whatever final barriers there are, I reconcile them with the greatest virtue God created: Love. Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)
Later the Apostle Paul wrote, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor 13:4-7)
And later, the Apostle John expounds, “Beloved, I am not writing you a new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word that you have heard. At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” (1 John 2: 7-11)
And I echo the prayer of Jesus Christ our Savior, “Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one” (John 17:11b).
In the spirit of love, I want to offer a brief word to my Catholic family and friends. Forgive us for any times when Protestants have broken fellowship with you, misrepresented you, and even shamed you. Thank you for your grace, forgiveness, and faithfulness. Many thanks to you and our grandparents in the faith who have protected the faith for generations. It is an example in my life. Embrace your Protestant brothers and sisters. Help us bridge the divide for God’s glory.
In that same spirit, I offer a word to my Protestant friends. Drop your stereotypes. Engage, listen, experience the rich traditions of the faith. Grow in respect for the generations upon generations who have kept the gospel since the church first began. Embrace your Catholic brothers and sisters. Help us bridge the divide for God’s glory.
Why have I read the Catechism cover-to-cover? Why have I engaged and embraced the full communion of the Church? The answer: Love. God’s love for us. My love for Him. And my love for His church. This is not about me. This is about God and His glory. He is the author and hero of His great story. I’m just playing a very small part in a very short chapter.
Sometimes I take a step back and feel a bit self-conscious about all this. I can feel skeptics and those around me asking questions. I even question myself saying, “What’s this all about? Am I just causing a lot of confusion for my friends and family?” Then I remind myself of some important things. I am not ashamed of my pursuits and therefore gladly share them with my family and friends. The example I am trying to set is not simply a choice to attend a mass, study a book, or make a proclamation. The example I am trying to set and the legacy I aspire to leave is this…
⁃ I trust in Jesus Christ. He is my Savior and my life belongs to Him.
⁃ I am curious and constantly seeking Christ. I am not a consumer or a skeptic. I trust in the power of God and not my own understanding.
⁃ I embrace the “one, holy, catholic, and apostolic” church and all its members, my
brothers and sisters in my own family and throughout the world. I embrace all faithful that have gone before: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and more who lived before Christ and longed for His salvation. And I embrace Mary, Joseph, Peter, Paul and more who were the first to follow and proclaim Christ. And I embrace those who have carried and protected the faith since from church fathers to so many more. My faith and life are the fruit of your faithfulness over the centuries.
⁃ I seek the glory and the kingdom of God. May Your Kingdom come. May Your will be done!
To all, I ask for your prayers and support. And I welcome conversations with all of you. As the journey continues…