This is Part 3 of 3 in a series of posts. To read “How has God shown me a world outside my individualism? (Part 1 of 3) click here. To read “How has God shown me a world outside my consumerism? (Part 2 of 3) click here.
I’ve got a lot more to learn about *isms. But, these three seem especially pertinent to me: Individualism, Consumerism, and Rationalism.
I don’t want to assume by even knowing these things exist that I am some how immune from them. Recently I’ve learned a lot about how other worldviews have affected my own. I’m trying to replay some of the stories and unpack how these *isms have affected me and those around me, especially as we ask our questions and have conversations.
When something is ‘normal’ and feels expected we don’t question it much. It doesn’t strike us as odd or out of place. This is where our culture and the worldviews around us can sometimes create blind spots. I’ve learned a lot about my blindspots from my Pastor Dustin Freeman (priest at our family’s Anglican Church). He’s helped me see the cultural norms around me and how they might be influencing my thinking. I’m just scratching the surface on all that Dustin can teach me. But essentially he’s taught me that there are many ‘isms’ that highly influence us without knowing it. As I mentioned, 3 in particular seemed to be at play in my dialogue with my friend: Individualism, Consumerism and Rationalism.
Individualism asks the question: “What is the best thing for me?”
Consumerism asks the question: “What are all the options out there to choose the best thing for me?”
Rationalism asks the question: “What is the best of all the options out there to choose the best thing for me?”
My simple desire? To process how those *isms worked their way into my heart and mind in-and-through my experiences in church growing up. And, how those same *isms were exposed and dissipated day-by-day in my fellowship in the Catholic Church.
It’s funny really. I haven’t known anything about the *isms consciously. But, when I hear the labels and basic description it made so much sense. I guess that’s the whole point with *isms. They are so deeply ingrained in an experience that you don’t really see them. It’s like explaining water to fish.
Here’s the ocean I have been swimming in my whole life as it relates to rationalism.
I’m reflecting back on a common experience growing up. I was introduced to the scientific method in school. We started with a hypothesis, then did experiments and the results to “prove” something was true. I was inundated in the media with courtroom dramas. In movies, and on TV it was constantly touted to me that if you can’t prove it, it’s not true. Then of course, came the onslaught of evolution, and the attack on anybody who is foolish enough to think that God created the world in seven days. I was totally unaware of the litigation, which was about to occur. I was just a kid, and caught in the middle of quite a drama. They need to defend our faith, ironically, seem to morph into proving our faith with facts. Before I knew it, I was drafted into an army of apologetics. It was a word I’ve never heard. It always made me think of the word “apologize.” But I came to find out it was anything but apologizing. It was defending. It was fighting. It was proving. This makes me reflect back on common experiences of some thing we used to call “Communion Sunday.”
Every so often (I say this because it always seemed a surprise when it happened) after the sermon our pastor would share that it was “Communion Sunday.” I recall wondering what the significance of this date was (did I miss a holiday?). So he reminded us it happens the 2nd Sunday of the 3rd month of the year (oh, right…sorry I forgot). As he says this key word a dozen ushers seemed be automatically prompted start shuffling around with neatly arranged trays with tiny, plastic containers in small holes. I’m assuming this is for the efficiency of time (since no time is wasted in church) and lots of potential germs. This is not to mention that everyone was typically ready to leave after a 45-minute sermon.
As they start to distribute the trays, the pastor grabs another plate up front which has a loaf of bread and a ceramic cup with grape juice on it. It’s not for consumption, just as a prop. It looks like a centerpiece on a dining table. He starts the explanation. As I’ve learned already in many rational Bible studies he’s clear that this is purely ‘symbolic’ and that we are eating actual bread and drinking juice. But he says this is important because Jesus taught us to remember. He reads a passage from the Bible but I’m a bit distracted as I stare at my little packet like a disposable yogurt cup. I also stare at my watch since this is the late service and the big NFL game starts at 12:30 pm. We all partake at our seats. Then we are dismissed with another song from the professional band. But, everyone seems to know that at the last song we can just get up and walk out as they are playing. We are not obligated to stay in our seats or sing as they play.
Now transport with me to Saint Mary’s Catholic Church in Walnut Creek California decades later. I watch the presiding priest starts to prepare the table. I’m losing count of the people involved as there are kids, adults, priests, deacons, men, and women serving around the big table. Some congregants come forward down the main aisle with a huge bottle of wine and bread. They present it to an assisting priest and they bow to each other in reverence. There’s a chalice, another component, another piece…I’m not quite sure what as there seem to be so many ‘sacred’ elements. I can not keep track of the many different object and things occurring. At some critical point everyone stands up as the priest says, “Blessed are You Lord God of all creation for through Your goodness we have received the bread we offer you. Fruit of the earth and work of human hands. It will become for us the bread of life.” The entire congregation responds in unison loudly, “Blessed be God forever!” Whoa!?! What’s happening now!?! The words escaped me about the first 50 times. My ‘new guy’ translation: “You are amazing God. You gave us seeds and taught us how to farm. Then we planted wheat and made it into bread. Then we gave it back to you. Now you are going to do something super special with it and turn it into something else that’s powerful and mysterious!” And my ‘new guy response’ goes like this: “Whoa…what is happening right now?!? This makes no rational sense. How can bread become something that’s different than bread?!?
He continues praying as he goes step-by-step, pouring a tad of water into the cup of wine. I can’t hear this part as the priest is not speaking loud enought, but rather whispering something to God alone. I later found the written form of all the prayers and learned that at this point he was praying, “by the mystery of this water and wine may we come to share in the divinity of Christ who humbled Himself to share in our humanity.” How can Jesus come down from heaven and be fully God and fully man?!? How can he take 5 loaves and feed 5,000?!?” How can Jesus be truly ‘present’ in this room, in these elements? They didn’t cover this in chemistry back in high school when I was highly indoctrinated into a Rational worldview. And they didn’t cover this in seminary either. And my rational, reasonable pastors at church growing up confirmed this by teaching me that all miracles ceased at the death of the Apostles. So, to accept even 1% of what’s happening I have to unlearn a lot of assumptions I’ve made from my Bible teachers that are not in the Bible, a book full of miracles.
Here’s a quick disclaimer that might be important for everyone reading to know. I didn’t go forward to partake of the Eucharist for sometime. Something about the contrast, and the significance of the way it was presented led me to just sit, reflect, and take it in. I did partake eventually in faith on November 25, 2018 at St. Francis Assissi church in Grapevine Texas. This was the day I entered the full fellowship of the Catholic Church. To read more about the Eucharist and my experiences as a Protestant coming into the Catholic Church click here.
Ok, enough of the dramatic contrast and rhetoric. I wish I was embellishing in this post series. But, unfortunately I don’t have to. The truth is stranger than fiction in this case. If I have the definitions, correct of individualism, consumerism, and rationalism, it’s not difficult at all to find growing aspects of these in church. And the Catholic church is not immune to any of these things either. I can only speak to my own experience. And in my experience, God has used the Catholic Church to expose my own blindspots.
My short version of the *isms growing up in church are this: I am marketed to and catered to from the moment I enter the parking lot. I am in a customized, catered experience crafted by a team of theologians, orators, musicians, designers, engineers, graphic artists, and ultimately program managers keep everything together. The messages I hear both verbally and non-verbally appeal to my rational senses and sensibility. I sit comfortably needing a reprieve from a world that is full of individualism, consumerism, and rationalism. But somehow things never slow down or get quiet enough for me to see those very same things at work at church.
My short version of my experiences at Catholic mass are this: I am wonderfully anonymous amidst the crowd of gray haired faithful while we remember our loved ones who have died and all the great saints of the past. I am in a worldwide celebration, have little-to-no options to choose from or commercials to process, and joining in a family celebration as an adopted son trying to figure out the family rituals. My brain is trying to process it all as heart, mind, body, and soul are all captured by faith in the Presence of Christ and the mystery of His body and blood.
Here’s an important confession and disclaimer as I read my own words above. Many of you will notice the inherent irony in this entire reflection. While trying to write against individualism, consumerism, and rationalism I have simultaneously written based on (1) my own experience, (2) clearly appealed to readers to make choices I’ve made, and (3) provided my rationale for those choices. Crap! I’m back to square one. 🙂
My only consolation is this. I can honestly say that the forces that drew me to the Catholic Church and to my first trip to mass were new and different than before. It was long after my own transformation began that I learned about the *isms. They gave me language to explain what I had already experienced and what I never knew I was experiencing in my distance past. And these reflections came equally from Protestants and Catholics across both sides of the wall.
Ok. Here’s the summary of my experience with the *isms and how they sneak into my life. And here’s some questions I ponder to help me continue this journey outside the *isms:
1. How can I promote the glory of God and the hope of Jesus for the unity of the church at my own expense, discomfort, and sacrifice?
2. What can I learn from others curiously across history, cultures, and worship styles, all within the orthodox teachings of the Apostles Creed?
3. What drives me to evaluate others current state of salvation and how can I see outside the possible false dichotomies I have built?
4. Why do I feel I can step outside my own environment and evaluate it without realizing I am born into it and unconsciously influenced by it?
5. How can I learn and grow to be more holy, but not necessarily more happy, as I engage in honest fellowship and dialogue with my brothers and sisters across cultural and doctrinal lines?
If you are interested in reading more about these ideas I highly recommend a book called You Are What You Love by James K.A. Smith. He really helped shed light on the whole situation in our culture.