When someone asks how I am doing, I respond often without even thinking, and with a very expected response. This is true in our culture. I reply by offering a quick assessment of circumstances in my life. I often give a rundown of other family members and what they’ve been up to. I cover the major plot points and then ask the other person to reciprocate.
What’s interesting is that I’m not sure I ever even answer the original question of “how I’m actually doing.” This is likely because I’m not really sure how what that really means. So I started to think about it.
My awesome son-in-law Lane is a RN. When someone comes in to the hospital and he asks “how they are doing” as he takes vital statistics. I’m sure he could explain this to you better. But as a person who’s been to the emergency room many times, I know they would likely take my temperature, my blood pressure, and my heart rate. They may ask basic questions about medication or ask me to stand on a scale or other things like that. If they want to go any deeper, they’re gonna have to draw some blood or urine and get into the chemistry. Or maybe they’ll send me to get an MRI or an x-ray.
I noticed two things as I thought through this list. First, they are all internal. They never ask about my circumstances, relationships, or the latest external realities of my life. All the measurements come from inside. The second thing I noticed is that the statistics are evident, whether I like it or not. The assessment is not based on my own personal interpretation or mood. I may feel happy but have high blood pressure. I might tell my family I feel fine, but I have a fever. So, using these two criteria, I ask myself the question, “what are the vital statistics of the soul?”
After pondering and praying over this question I came up with a simple list. In my my life three vital statistics of the soul are: peace, clarity, courage. Here’s how I would break down all three.
Peace over worry
Paul’s letter to the Philippian Church spells out peace really well. he calls it a peace that passes understanding. In my experience, and in my work, the opposite of peace is anxiety and worry. It’s when our heart races over what we can’t control. Peace comes through our faith when we recognize that we can trust the only one who can solve all the problems. And this dynamic between peace and anxiety is pretty constant. We could never take it for granted.
Clarity over confusion
Clarity is when we know who we are, we know what our purposes, we know what our boundaries are. The opposite of this seems to be confusion and codependency. When I first heard the word boundaries I thought of a map. But then I was later. Instructed that boundaries are much more about definition. Where do I start? Where do I end? I had a dear friend recently, asked me a simple question, “who are you?” This is as simple but perhaps even harder to answer as the question: “How are you?” My first answer sucked. My second answer got a little bit better. My third answer was decent. And then I kept mulling it over in my head and my heart. I could write a whole blog post on this one. But I’ll simply summarize by saying the poem The Man In The Arena is, at its essence, my answer. And when I’m focused on that identity, no matter the circumstances life is a heck of a lot more livable.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat…
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizenship_in_a_Republic
Courage over fear
Courage is when we have the strength and the energy to follow the first two principles and enter the arena. When I have peace of mind and clarity about my purpose, I still need fuel. The opposite of this would seem to be depression and despair. The word encouragement often seems to be synonymous with flattery, affirmation, or just simply receiving a decent complement. We think of it as the opposite of criticism. But the actual definition, if you just break down, the word means “to put courage into.” And boy do I need a lot of courage! I think that’s why we make the first two questions pretty complicated. We know the right thing to do. But we just don’t have the courage to do it.
I think this is why I run so much. When I run, I experience all three of these at the highest level. And when I finish my long runs my resting heart rate is under 40 beats a minute, my mind is especially clear as I have worked through so many prayers along the path, and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to take on the next challenge that God has for me. It’s not uncommon after a run for me to make a phone call, write down something in terms of a reflection, or make a simple, hard decision that I know I need to make. Or maybe all of it just simply leads me to the clearest version of a prayer I need to pray.
People often ask me another simple question, “how can I pray for you?” My standard answer now? peace, clarity, courage. Sounds a little bit trite when I say it that quickly. But there’s a lot of meaning behind it for me. I hope this post has helped me understand that. And perhaps whoever is reading this might think through what is the EKG of your soul?
How are you doing?